The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
