oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
