I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
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