we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
