I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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