can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
