this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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