I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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