Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize