You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize