You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Randomize
