I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Randomize