i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
