I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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