At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
