So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
