bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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