I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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