So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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