absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
