It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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