Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
