At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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