No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
