why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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