smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
