I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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