I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
