Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
