I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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