I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
