They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
