My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
