It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
