you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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