Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
