is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
