Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
