Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
