Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
