did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
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