the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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