My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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