Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Randomize
