Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
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