so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize