just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
