You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
