I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
