can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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