So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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