the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Randomize
