Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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