She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
