god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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