drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize