their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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