I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
