If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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