Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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