My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
