Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
