I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
