She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
