So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Everything about him screamed your future.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
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