just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I've blown a few things in my day
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
