So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
